


ha'ahava hazot shelanu

by bellawritess



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: ........nervously types the next tag, Alcohol, Candles, Cooking, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Family Fluff, Hanukkah, Jewish Character, Judaism, LOTS OF FLUFF BRO, M/M, Romance, S'vivon | Dreidel, Snow, except ashton, hebrew prayers, liberal use of hebrew, more specifically ALL jewish characters, only in chapter 5 though!!, sufganiyot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28447359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellawritess/pseuds/bellawritess
Summary: “Happy Hanukkah,” Michael says quietly, also watching the flames dance in the glass.“Happy Hanukkah,” Ashton replies, wrapping Michael in a hug from behind and pressing a kiss to his cheek.“Happy Hanukkah,” Calum says, smiling at Luke as their fingers intertwine.Luke murmurs, “Chag sameach, ahovi,” and Calum’s face is aglow in the candlelight.
Relationships: Jack Barakat/Alex Gaskarth (background), Luke Hemmings/Calum Hood, Michael Clifford/Ashton Irwin (background)
Comments: 29
Kudos: 16





	1. echad // אחד

**Author's Note:**

> (SCREAMS) okay. i'm okay
> 
> hello and welcome to my projection-filled judaism fic. this is a very very jewish fic. i think you could probably tell that from all the tags and the hebrew title and if you know Anything At All About Me, but i figured i would warn you! it's very very jewish!
> 
> now. when i endeavored to write this fic (after MONTHS of wanting to but being too nervous), i wasn't quite sure how jewish to go with it. cos yknow. it can be kind of alienating to read a fic where you have no idea what's going on. even if that's just because it's a religion you've never encountered or needed to understand. and i definitely get that!! a part of me wanted to write this in a way that would be palatable to a larger audience, cos, you know, it's fic. also, i was (and am) (very) nervous about the way that this fic would be received, because it feels to ME like making these characters jewish was kind of a big bold move for me to do. and i figured if i was going to do it, i should do it in a way that people would at least be able to enjoy.
> 
> but then. the other part of me really just wanted to write a fic that i would want to read. and since i am the writer, that's basically what i did. so this fic is jewish the way that i am jewish, pervasively and sometimes annoyingly, but look. if nothing else it's extremely authentic. judaism, at least in the way that i am jewish, is in every single part of my life, and similarly it's in every single part of this fic.
> 
> if that's okay with you, then it's okay with me.
> 
> okay!! so now that we've got that out of the way, i have a couple shoutouts (who would i be if i didnt have shoutouts lmao). first of all, two weeks ago [iba](http://archiveofourown.org/users/formidablehedgehog) sent me a link to [this 1d fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1577036) and a reassuring/encouraging message telling me that actually it was totally cool to write a jewish fic. i promise you if she had not done that, this fic would not exist. it owes its genesis to iba, and for that i have to thank you, iba
> 
> SECOND of all, love of my fucking life [sam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellingatbabylon), to whom i owe basically all my fics lately but ESPECIALLY this one. every time i got cold feet she was there to remind me that at the very least, at least she would enjoy it!! sam also left some delightful comments on the doc that were very encouraging, and as we all know i am a slut for doc comments
> 
> OKAY OKAY OKAY i'm almost done i SWEAR.
> 
>  **some basic vocab/info:**  
>  > **hanukkiah:** you probably know it as a menorah. they’re colloquially interchangeable, but technically different: a menorah has seven candles (six + lighter), and a hanukkiah has nine (eight + lighter)  
> > **shamash:** the lighter candle  
> > **chag sameach:** “happy holidays,” catch-all phrase for all jewish holidays  
> > the plural form of hebrew words will end in either -ot or -im. example: one hanukkiah, two hanukkiot. 
> 
> these words reappear in multiple chapters and they’re also just good basic things to know! for words/phrases that only appear in one chapter, i’ll put the translations in the end notes of the chapter.
> 
> title is from the song of the same name (האהבה הזאת שלנו) by ivri lider. it’s actually a beautiful song i strongly recommend it and WITH THAT, please. enjoy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Happy Hanukkah,” Michael says quietly, also watching the flames dance in the glass. 
> 
> “Happy Hanukkah,” Ashton replies, wrapping Michael in a hug from behind and pressing a kiss to his cheek.
> 
> “Happy Hanukkah,” Calum says, smiling at Luke as their fingers intertwine.
> 
> Luke murmurs, “ _Chag sameach, ahovi,_ ” and Calum’s face is aglow in the candlelight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some latkes and candle-lighting for your souls :))
> 
> latkes = potato pancakes, very yummy (if done right), best eaten with applesauce NOT sour cream yes this is a fact not an opinion, one of the most traditional hanukkah foods

**first night**

The tension at the table is reaching hazardous levels and Luke is starting to wish he had a panic button.

“Okay, _maybe,_ ” he says, cutting through the evil death-glare staring match occurring between Michael and Calum right now, “it’s just a matter of taste.”

“Yeah! _Bad_ taste!” Calum jabs his knife at Michael, and Luke decides to be the responsible one and pry the knife out of Calum’s grasp. “How have you been eating them with sour cream this whole time and I only just fucking found out now?”

“Latkes aren’t a fucking dessert!” Michael argues, equally outraged. “Why would you put applesauce? Would you put chocolate sauce on a bagel?”

“That’s totally fucking different!”

“Explain to me how _that_ is different!”

“Sour cream isn’t an _anything_ food!” 

Luke makes eye contact with Ashton across the table, and Ashton just gives him a wry smile. This is Ashton’s first Hanukkah, and Luke kind of wishes the experience could be nicer for him, but if he’s going to be Michael’s boyfriend he’ll have to get used to petty arguments like this, so in a way it’s a good way to see how serious he is. Luke’s nothing if not a wingman.

“Alright,” he says loudly. “That’s enough. We’re ending this now. Applesauce and sour cream are equally valid condiments for latkes —”

Calum whirls on Luke. “Condiments?”

Luke wrinkles his nose. “Toppings? Sauces? What would you call them?”

“I guess.” Calum doesn’t seem pleased. “ _Condiments_ just sounds so weird.”

“ _Anyway,_ ” Luke says, “can we _please_ table this and actually _eat_ them?”

“I slaved for like two hours over these!” Calum protests. “I’m not letting Mikey get his nasty sour cream all over them!”

“Cal.” Luke puts a hand on Calum’s shoulder, and like magic, the defensive tension in his muscles drains, and he gets a dumb smile for his troubles.

“I’m joking,” Calum says, graciously gesturing to Michael and Ashton across the table. “Please, have some latkes. Help yourselves. One man’s trash, so on.”

“Thank you,” Luke says, and Michael shakes his head ruefully.

“You’re such a fucking prick,” he tells Calum, serving first Ashton and then himself before reaching for the sour cream. “You’ve got the worst taste in everything.”

And, well, as man of the house — or at least boyfriend of the man of the house — Luke feels it’s his right to jump in. “Mate, you eat latkes with _sour cream._ One of us has got shit taste and it’s not Calum.”

The daggers in Michael’s glare might kill him, but Calum’s cheesy grin resurrects him just as quickly.

* * *

“They look so nice,” Luke says, nodding appreciatively at the candles set up in their pair of hanukkiot. “Any reason you went for the blue-and-white?”

“Ha, ha,” Calum says, leaning into Luke. “Yeah, no, no reason. Just a huge fan of blue and white for no particular reason at all.”

Luke chuckles as Michael and Ashton finally join them at the window. In the dim lighting Luke can see the four of them reflected in the windowpane, Calum at his side with an arm around his waist, Michael and Ashton in much the same position. 

“Which one are we lighting?” Michael asks. “Cal, which one’s yours?” 

Calum points to the one on the left, a classic-looking silver thing that Calum had gotten as a bar mitzvah gift. “You can light mine,” Calum tells Michael. “Luke and I’ll do his.” 

Luke’s hanukkiah is on the right; also a bar mitzvah gift, his is much less traditional, with all eight regular candles lined up to the right of the _shamash_ instead of creating an even split down the middle. It’s a tarnished gold, but it looks exactly right next to Calum’s, complementary colors. Seeing them set up like this makes Luke feel as if some of this is fate, not just luck and circumstance.

“Sounds good to me,” Michael says. Turning to Ashton, he adds, “When we do this at home you can light your own, if you want.”

“I’d be worried about doing it wrong,” Ashton jokes, and Michael shakes his head.

“You’d have to be a real moron to get it wrong.”

“Well…” Luke trails off, and Ashton makes an offended noise, though he’s kind of smiling. 

“Fuck you,” he says. 

“Yeah, no dissing my boyfriend,” Michael tells Luke. “Only I get to diss my boyfriend.”

Ashton nods, like he’s on board with this decision. “Exactly.”

“Alright,” Calum says. “Let’s light, yeah? Is everyone ready to light, or do we want to make fun of Ashton a little longer?”

“We can light,” Ashton says, and Michael snickers. 

They step closer to the windowsill, Calum’s arm falling away from Luke’s waist as they approach the hanukkiot. Luke reaches for the _shamash_ on his hanukkiah, and in his periphery he sees Michael do the same; he can hear Michael explaining quietly that _first we sing some blessings, then we light from the newest candle first._ It makes Luke smile. He looks over at Calum, who’s also smiling. 

It’s sweet that Ashton is willing to learn all of this for Michael, but Luke is happy with his already-Jewish boyfriend. He wouldn’t trade Calum for anyone.

Calum’s eyes crinkle in a smile. “Stop looking at me, you sap,” he whispers. “We have to start the holiday.”

“I’m waiting for you to light the _shamash,_ you moron.”

Calum sticks his tongue out, but he grabs a match and strikes it, lighting the wick of both Luke’s and Michael’s candles before blowing it out. He shoots a glance at Luke, and Luke takes a breath.

“ _Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha’olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu, l’hadlik ner shel Hanukkah,_ ” Luke chants, with Calum and Michael joining in. He looks at Calum and almost gets caught off-guard by the adoration in his eyes. Smiling, he continues into the second blessing. “ _Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha’olam, she’asah nissim l’avoteinu bayamim ha’hem bazman hazeh._ ”

Looking over at Michael and Ashton, Luke sees Michael tap Ashton’s wrist, and Ashton shoots a look over to Luke, possibly for confirmation that he’s actually allowed to light the candle now. Luke nods encouragingly.

“ _Shehecheyanu,_ right?” Calum mumbles. 

“I’m getting to it,” Luke chides, punctuated with a smile. “Light the candle.”

Calum obliges as Luke starts up the third blessing, one they only say on the first night — the _shehecheyanu,_ a blessing for whenever anything new begins. “ _Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha’olam, shehecheyanu v’kiyamanu v’higianu lazman hazeh.”_

The prayer comes to an end just as Calum returns the _shamash_ to its spot in the hanukkiah. The flickering fire reflects against the window, and Luke gazes in wonder at it. No matter how many Hanukkahs he has, this part will never not ignite a spark in his soul. The first night, the first candles…maybe he’s just a romantic, but Luke all of a sudden feels a little bit in love with everything and everyone. With the candles, with the flames, with the latkes, with Michael, with Ashton.

With Calum, always Calum, forever Calum.

“Happy Hanukkah,” Michael says quietly, also watching the flames dance in the glass. 

“Happy Hanukkah,” Ashton replies, wrapping Michael in a hug from behind and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Happy Hanukkah,” Calum says, smiling at Luke as their fingers intertwine.

Luke murmurs, “ _Chag sameach, ahovi,_ ” and Calum’s face is aglow in the candlelight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **~hebrew cheat sheet~**  
>  >no need to worry about the prayers, lol those are just the traditional hanukkah prayers. (you say all three the first night, the first two prayers on the second night as well, and then only the first prayer for the rest of the nights. like. everyone does it differently but that's basically it.)  
> > **chag sameach, ahovi:** happy holidays, my love :)


	2. shtayim // שתיים

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey, Ben,” Luke says, smiling broadly. “You remember Calum.”
> 
> “How could I forget?” Ben grins at Calum, offering a hand to shake. “This dude whooped my arse in FIFA last year.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> family fluff :))) god i love family fluff have i mentioned lately? i do

**second night**

The Hemmings household is alive and full of sounds and smells, and Luke takes one step over the threshold and lets out a deep, content sigh.

“Luke!” It’s Ben, leaving the kitchen. When he spots Luke and Calum, he grins and crosses to them.

“Hey, Ben,” Luke says, smiling broadly. “You remember Calum.”

“How could I forget?” Ben grins at Calum, offering a hand to shake. “This dude whooped my arse in FIFA last year.”

“And I’d do it again,” Calum says proudly. “It’s nice to see you again, Ben.”

“Yeah, you too. Luke, dad’s been cooking all day and I think the fumes have got to his head, so he might be a bit mental.” Ben stops shifting and stands there for a moment, giving Luke and Calum a once-over. “Man,” he finally says, with a shake of the head. “It’s great to see you, Lukey.”

“Better than Jack, right?” Luke deadpans. “Surely you’re more excited to see me than Jack.”

“Obviously.”

“I’m excited to see Jack,” Calum puts in. Ben and Luke both turn to him. There’s a pause, and then they all laugh.

“Go make yourself useful,” Ben says. “Lay the table, that’d be a big help. Not you, Calum, you can make yourself at home.”

“I can help,” Calum says graciously. Luke tugs on his arm.

“Come say hi to my parents, anyway,” he says. They step past Ben, Luke clapping him on the shoulder, and make their way to the kitchen.

It’s exceedingly warm when Luke and Calum walk in, and in the midst of it all is Andrew Hemmings, who blinks when he sees the pair of them and then beams. “Boys! Brilliant, I thought you’d be here soon! Oh, hello, hi there. Come here, give me a hug.” 

Luke obliges, and when his dad pulls away he immediately draws Calum into a hug as well, which Calum is clearly anticipating from past encounters with Luke’s dad. 

“Your mum’s just getting changed, I kicked her out of the kitchen,” says Andrew. He seems slightly frenzied, though the oil stains on his apron may be contributing to that. “I’ll be getting changed in a minute. Just finishing up the last batch here.”

“Oh, amazing,” Calum says. “It smells so good in here.” 

“We made latkes last night,” Luke tells his dad. “Used your recipe and all, but they didn’t come out as good.”

“Well, you can’t beat perfection,” Andrew says, absolutely straight-faced. On a dime he turns back to the stove. “Let me just flip these. Did you see Ben? Jack’s not here yet, he texted to say he’d be a few minutes late so it should be any minute.”

“Dad, how can we help?” Luke interjects. “Want us to lay the table?”

“Oh, yeah, actually, that’d be brilliant if you could,” Andrew says, attention fully focused on the latkes sizzling in the pan before him. “Yeah, thanks. Calum, can I get you anything to drink?”

“I’ll take care of it,” Luke interrupts, desperate not to put anything else on his dad’s plate. He turns to Calum. “Cal? Want something to drink?”

Calum shakes his head. “I can wait ‘til dinner. Point me in the direction of the plates.”

* * *

By the time they’ve laid the table, said hello to Jack (who arrives in all his usual swagger but hugs Luke so tight Luke thinks his bones might break), said hello to Luke’s mum, set up the Hanukkah candles, set up the _Shabbat_ candles, and convinced Andrew that they won’t need another batch of latkes, honestly, with the salmon and the salad it’ll be too much, it’s half seven and Luke’s stomach is grumbling. The smell of latkes has permeated every single room in the house, making Luke feel five and fifteen and twenty-five all at once, a scent reminiscent of every Hanukkah from his childhood. Since moving out — and moving in with Calum — Luke has failed to recreate that exact aroma, and now that it’s here Luke finds himself wishing he could bottle it. That would sell, for sure. There must be a market for the smell of latkes.

Maybe Luke’s a bit too hungry.

They have to wait for Luke’s dad to get changed, though, so Luke brings Calum up to his childhood bedroom. Calum’s been here before, but he never fails to find something new to draw unparalleled delight from. This time, it’s Luke’s ukulele, which he’d previously thought his parents had sold. 

“Tell the truth,” Calum says, strumming the uke and cringing at how out-of-tune it is. “How many times did you play this? Ever.”

Luke tries to think. “No idea,” he says truthfully, “but it’s less than ten.”

“You should learn again!” Calum holds it out to Luke. “Play me something, uke man.”

“Uke man?”

“It was supposed to be like piano man, but…with a uke.”

Luke rolls his eyes. “Completely overlooking that my name rhymes with uke.”

Calum’s face lights up. “Uke Luke! Right, go on, Uke Luke, serenade me. Give me your best shot.”

“You’re already my boyfriend,” Luke says, shaking his head. A small smile pulls at his lips. “Or is this going to be the deciding factor of our relationship?”

“Well, _now_ it is.” Calum pushes the uke into Luke’s face, so Luke yields, taking it and holding it like a guitar. He’s pretty sure that’s how you hold a uke. “This one’s for us, Luke. Don’t fuck up.”

Luke meets Calum’s gaze, affixing his features into a very serious expression. Then he glances at the fretboard, makes what he _thinks_ he remembers as being a G chord, and strums the horribly dissonant chord, singing loudly, “Calum is my boyfriend, Calum is my boyfriend, Calum is my boyfriend, Calum is my boyfriend!”

Calum snorts. “Is this the chorus?”

Luke nods. He changes to a maybe-D chord and continues. “Now the verse. Calum’s got great hair, Calum’s got nice eyes, Calum’s got, uh, hair, Calum is a prize. I love Calum so, even if he sucks, I love Calum’s arms, I love Calum’s face. Everybody! Calum is my boyfriend, Calum is my boyfriend,” and he dissolves into giggles at the sheer delight of Calum’s expression. “Calum is my boyfriend,” he adds helplessly, laughing too hard to repeat it once more and burying his face in Calum’s shoulder. Calum is useless, also laughing so hard his whole upper body shakes.

“That was so good,” he manages between bouts of laughter. “You’re such a great songwriter. Incredible. So romantic. It was really the _everybody!_ that made it, I think. Oh, man.”

“I’m a songwriter in another life,” Luke giggles. “I’m really good.”

“I bet you are. Well, rest assured our relationship is rock-solid after that moving display. The audience is in tears.”

“Probably because of how off-key I was.”

That sets Calum off again. It takes a few moments for them both to gather themselves, and by that time Luke’s mum is calling them down to eat.

“Your majesty,” Calum says, bowing low and holding out a hand. 

Luke takes it. “Thank you, good sir.” He tosses the uke onto his bed, but Calum clucks and takes it back to its spot in the back of the closet.

“Clean up after yourself,” he reprimands Luke. “What kind of son are you?”

Luke rolls his eyes as they make their way back downstairs.

* * *

“We’ll do the kitchen after,” Liz says, waving Calum away from the doorway. “Let’s light first.”

Luke loops his arm around Calum’s waist. “ _Yalla_ , this way. You and I are sharing.” He guides them over to the windowsill and points at the oil hanukkiah on the farthest left. “That was the one I lit before I got my own.”

Calum casts an impressed glance over their myriad hanukkiot. “You guys have quite the collection.”

“Yeah. Well. Three bar mitzvahs plus many Jewish relatives, you end up with more hanukkiot than one family could ever possibly need. These are all we have left now that the three of us have all moved out.”

“How come we don’t have an oil one? It looks cool.”

Luke shrugs. “Dunno. They are cool, we just…never got one? We could.”

“Maybe,” Calum says, humming thoughtfully. “Maybe.”

The rest of Luke’s family meanders over to the window. Liz’s hand lands on Luke’s shoulder, and she squeezes. “So nice to have you here,” she murmurs. Luke smiles. 

“Happy to be home,” he concedes. It feels weird to say — calling his childhood house _home_ isn’t wrong, but he hasn’t done it in a long time. When he says _home_ nowadays, it’s the flat that comes to mind first, him and Calum waking up to sunlight through windows and dancing around to pop punk music playing far too loudly and Calum whistling while he cooks dinner and wrapping his arms around Luke’s waist as Luke does the washing up. It’s possible to have more than one home, Luke thinks. It must be, because he has.

It floors him how incredibly lucky he is, and for a moment he’s too overcome to say anything about it.

His mum pats his shoulder, rubs a hand over his shoulder blades, then steps past him. “Alright, boys. You don’t scare me. Everyone has a hanukkiah?”

Everyone does, so Liz lights all the _shamashot_. She pauses for a moment, breathes deeply, and then starts chanting the blessings.

Luke lights the newest candle, then hands off their _shamash_ to let Calum light the second. When the blessings end, there’s a peaceful quiet in the room as everybody finishes lighting candles, and Calum blows out the functional _shamash_ and turns to Luke with a crinkly smile.

“ _Chag sameach_.”

“ _Chag sameach,_ ” Luke replies, and wraps Calum in a hug. “I love you so much.”

Calum breathes a laugh. “Yeah. I love you too.”

“I’m lucky to have you.”

“Yeah, you are.” Calum kisses his jaw. “But I’m lucky to have you, too.”

“Alright, enough of the lovefest,” Jack declares loudly. “Some of us haven’t got partners, no need to brag, mate.”

Luke laughs and flips Jack off behind Calum’s back, eliciting a reproachful noise from his mum and a chuckle from his dad, and Luke wonders if they’ve actually lit tonight’s candles inside his chest, for all the warmth he feels in there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **~hebrew cheat sheet**  
>  > **yalla:** technically yiddish i think? it just means "come on"


	3. shalosh // שלוש

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Calum! It’s snowing! It’s snowing outside!”
> 
> Luke slides into the kitchen on his socks to find Calum standing in the midst of many ingredients, a big smile on his face. “Ooh, what’s happening in here?”
> 
> “Gonna try to make _sufganiyot,_ ” Calum says eagerly. “Wanna help?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> adventures in cooking + snow what more could you possibly ask for
> 
> note: sufganiyot = jelly donuts!! very traditional hanukkah food
> 
> i'd like to dedicate this chapter in specific to [meg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaleidoscopeminds) love you

**third night**

“Calum! It’s snowing! It’s snowing outside!”

Luke slides into the kitchen on his socks to find Calum standing in the midst of many ingredients, a big smile on his face. “Ooh, what’s happening in here?”

“Gonna try to make _sufganiyot,_ ” Calum says eagerly. “Wanna help?”

Luke glances from Calum to the window, outside of which he can see snow falling, thick white flakes fluttering past the panes of glass as they sink to the ground. It’s actually been snowing for a while, if the snow already covering the ground below is any indication — Luke had been engrossed in his book and hadn’t noticed. This snow won’t stick, and probably won’t last very much longer, but still — it’s not often they’re graced with a snowy Hanukkah.

“How long is it supposed to take?”

Calum shrugs, picking up his phone. “I looked up a recipe. Not long, I don’t think.” He scrolls. “Oh, this bit has to sit ten minutes, and then once everything is put together it needs to rise for an hour or so.” More scrolling. “Then more rising, then frying, then filling, then…” He looks up at Luke and grins brightly. “Then eating!”

Luke shifts on his feet. He’s rubbish in the kitchen but he makes a good sous-chef — a byproduct of understanding Calum even when he’s asking for “the, like, the sweepy rubber thingy.”

“Can I pick the music?” Luke barters.

Calum rolls his eyes. “Luke, we listen to exactly the same music. Yes, fine.”

Luke cheers. “Alright, in that case yes. What can I do?”

“Wash your hands first,” Calum says, pointing to the sink. “You’re dirty and disgusting.”

“Okay, thank you, Captain Obvious. What _after_ that?”

“Don’t think this part needs much help. You can put your music on, if you want.”

Luke washes and dries his hands, then reaches for his phone to connect it to the Bluetooth speaker in their kitchen. At the counter, Calum starts measuring things out and putting them into bowls. Luke shuffles a playlist of favorites and smiles stupidly when “Feeling This” starts up.

Calum laughs.

“Get ready for action!” Luke yells, grabbing a whisk on his way over to Calum. He holds it to his mouth to sing, “I got no regret right now!” then brings it quickly to Calum’s, who jumps in as naturally as if this were a practised routine.

“I’m feeling this!”

“The air is so cold and null!”

“I’m feeling this!”

“Let me go in her room!”

“I’m feeling this!”

“I wanna take off her clothes!”

“I’m feeling this!”

Luke nods approvingly and smacks a kiss onto Calum’s cheek. “This song is too heterosexual for us.”

“I’m heterosexual,” Calum deadpans. “I love women.”

“That’s so homophobic,” Luke says in mock-offense. “I’ll be filing a complaint to the gay police.”

“You do that. Move, I gotta get some water.”

Luke huffs but steps to the side to clear a path for Calum to get to the sink. When the warm water has been poured into the bowl, Calum slides it to the side with a nod.

“Need to leave that for ten minutes,” he says. “Set a timer?”

“On it.” Luke sets a ten-minute timer on his phone. “Now we get to make out in the kitchen while we wait, right?”

Calum giggles. “No, now we get the bowl of everything else together so that when the yeast mixture is done —”

Luke slides over to Calum, pulling on the front of his shirt until they’re face-to-face. “I’m pretty sure the next thing on the recipe list is _kiss Luke_.”

“I don’t think it is.”

“Have another look.”

Calum rolls his eyes, fond, and picks up his phone. “Oh, wow, would you look at that. It actually does say that.”

Luke grins. “I knew it. You’ve just got a problem with close reading, Cal, that’s all.”

“Don’t get all academic on me.” Calum laughs as his lips meet Luke’s, and even though it makes it more difficult to kiss, Luke wouldn’t ever want to be responsible for dimming that smile. Not for the world.

Freezing fingertips frame Luke’s face, and Luke covers Calum’s hands with his own, hoping maybe that’ll warm them up. Calum pulls away and makes a confused expression. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Your hands are freezing cold.”

“Oh.” Calum snorts. “Yeah, I know.”

“So I’m trying to warm them up.”

“I’ll just move them, how about that,” Calum offers, leaning in to press his lips against Luke’s once again. This time his hands snake under the hem of Luke’s shirt. Luke jolts violently away as they brush the skin of his hips.

“You fucking menace!” he accuses over Calum’s snicker. “You’re awful! Absolutely awful.”

“Come back here,” Calum entreats, laughing still. “Come back, come back! I’m trying to warm my hands up!”

Luke dodges as Calum makes a grab for him and then another. “I don’t want your ice hands on my body!”

“Lu-uke.” Calum makes a puppy dog face. “Please? What’s a warm boyfriend for if not for heating up my icy fingers?”

“Oh, I hate you,” Luke says. “Don’t puppy dog eyes me.” Calum doesn’t stop. He’ll be winning Worst Boyfriend Award. “Stop it.”

“Luke, I’m making us _sufganiyot!_ As my sous-chef, you have a responsibility to help me in any way you can.”

“ _B’chayay,_ fine.” Luke rolls his eyes and grabs Calum’s hands, sandwiching them between his palms. Calum smiles happily, the smile that makes his eyes all but disappear. “Happy?”

“Very.”

“Whatever happened to getting the rest of the ingredients together?”

“Whatever happened to item two? _Kiss Luke?_ ” Calum makes a face. “I was trying to get that step out of the way.”

“You kissed me,” Luke says reasonably. “You can start the next step now.”

“Hmm.” Calum steps closer and kisses Luke one last time, sweet and lingering and everything Luke has ever loved. “Okay. Next step. Crack some eggs into a bowl.”

Luke sighs, content. “Yes, sir.”

* * *

Calum is a traitor. Calum is the enemy. Calum is not to be fucking trusted ever again. Calum is —

“ _AH FUCK YOU!”_ Calum is currently stuffing snow down the back of Luke’s shirt. Luke shrieks and whirls around. “Fuck you, you cunt!”

“Every man for himself!” Calum runs off around the corner of the building and Luke takes off after him, stopping only to pick up a handful of snow. It’s not good snow for snowballs, but of course that hasn’t stopped Calum from trying. Luke’s covered head-to-toe with the results of Calum’s snowball efforts, and he has yet to hit Calum with anything. The bastard’s too damn slick. 

But Luke doesn’t give up easily. Rounding the corner just after Calum, Luke declares, “Die, traitor!” He launches his formless snow in Calum’s general direction, and Calum doesn’t have a chance to react before it explodes around him, decorating him in flurries of white.

“Alright,” Calum says, holding his hands up. “Fair play. We’re even.”

“We’re not _even!_ You got me twice before! You put snow down my fucking _shirt,_ you fuck!"

“Because you looked hot!” Luke glares at him. “I think you look cool now.”

“One more pun and I’ll break up with you,” Luke threatens.

“Babe, it was your idea to come outside in the snow.”

“I thought we’d make snow angels or something cute like that.”

“Snow is not a setting for cute activities,” Calum says seriously. “Snow is a battlefield, and there can be only one victor.”

“You’re such a weirdo.”

“You’re only saying that because you’re losing.”

“There’s nothing to lose! Hey,” Luke adds warningly as Calum bends down to start scooping up a handful of snow. “If you throw that at me, I will see to it that your sock drawer is filled with ice tonight. That is a very real threat.”

Calum hesitates, narrowing his eyes. “Big talker, you are. But what if I say you can’t have any of my _sufganiyot_?”

“ _Your_ — we’re making them together!”

“No ice in my sock drawer, and you can have as many as you want,” Calum says loftily.

Luke glares at him. “I hate you.”

Calum steps towards Luke and Luke immediately steps backwards. “I’m not going to do anything!” Calum says, holding his hands up. The snow he'd been holding falls to the earth and he wipes his palm against his hoodie. “Promise.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

“Yes? Absolutely? Many times?”

Calum inclines his head in acknowledgment. “Okay. Well. I’m not lying right now.”

“Exactly what a liar would say.” Despite this, when Calum takes another step nearer, Luke doesn’t back away. Soon they’re mere inches apart. Calum steals a kiss off Luke’s lips and Luke smiles against his better nature.

“Please remember,” Calum says solemnly, “that I love you very, very much.” His hands sneak under the collar of Luke’s sweatshirt and Luke gasps loudly.

“Stop it stop it stop it _Calum_ your hands are fucking freezing cold!”

Cackling gleefully, Calum pulls his hands away and wraps them in the front of Luke’s sweatshirt. “Okay I’m done! No more battle. Truce.”

“I’m never trusting you again,” Luke grumbles, pressing his own palms against his neck where Calum’s had been. His hands aren’t any warmer, and Luke shivers. “You’re such a…”

“Wonderful boyfriend?”

“Dirty rotten piece of shit.”

Calum scoffs, grin firmly in place. “Let’s call a truce and go inside.”

Luke huffs. “You’re terrible and awful.”

“Yes, yes, I know. And you’re hopelessly in love with me. Everyone loves a bad boy. Come on.”

It’s not that cold, but the chill in Luke’s skin from Calum’s evil trick makes him acquiesce. They traipse back to the doors and link arms in the elevator. Disarmed, Calum is harmless. Anyway, Luke figures this is a win for him — he’d wanted to go in the snow and now they have. The icy trail of snow down his back is just an occupational hazard.

Worth it for Calum to smile like that.

(Anything is.)

* * *

“Oh my God,” Luke moans around a mouthful of his _sufganiya_ , “these are fucking amazing. Oh my _God._ ”

Calum opens his mouth and Luke holds his donut out. Calum takes a bite. “Oh my God. They’re fucking perfect.”

Luke nods enthusiastically and takes another bite of his. “I can’t believe you got them this right on the first try.”

“Well,” Calum says, taking a _sufganiya_ of his own from the stack and holding it up between them, “I had a pretty cute sous-chef.”

“Not very competent, but damn cute.”

“Exactly. And everyone knows cuteness is everything when it comes to _sufganiyot_.”

“You’re damn right it does.” Luke grins and taps his _sufganiya_ against Calum’s. “To you.”

“And to you.”

As one, they bite into their _sufganiyot_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **~hebrew cheat sheet~**  
>  > **sufganiya/sufganiyot:** i said it at the beginning but this is jelly donuts! sufganiya = singular, sufganiyot = plural  
> > **b'chayay:** general expression of exasperation, kinda the way you'd say "jesus christ" or "for fuck's sake" lol


	4. arbah // ארבע

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hi,” Luke says, waving at Mali and David in turn. 
> 
> “Hi!” Mali gives Luke a big hug and Luke easily returns it — Mali gives great hugs — before kicking at Calum. “Hey, punk, wanna say hello to your sister?”
> 
> Calum springs to his feet. “Hiya, Mali,” he says, grinning as he throws his arms around her. “Missed ya.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> visit with the hoods!!! just an excuse to write mali? maybe so
> 
> this chapter references birthright a bit so i'll just say if you don't know: birthright is a free trip to israel available to (most) jewish young adults. it's ten days i believe, but that's basically all you need to know! it's not like. a plot point. lmao

**fourth night**

“Duke!” The sheer joy on Calum’s face is unmatched. “Hey, buddy! Oh, I’ve missed you so much! Have you missed me? Yeah? I bet you have, you big fuckin’ sap.”

Calum falls to his knees to give Duke a million kisses, which leaves Luke to greet the humans of the house — namely, Mali and Calum’s dad David, who’d let them in. Calum’s mum is nowhere to be found, but a clatter in the dining room gives Luke a hint towards her whereabouts.

“Hi,” Luke says, waving at Mali and David in turn. 

“Hi!” Mali gives Luke a big hug and Luke easily returns it — Mali gives great hugs — before kicking at Calum. “Hey, punk, wanna say hello to your sister?”

Calum springs to his feet. “Hiya, Mali,” he says, grinning as he throws his arms around her. “Missed ya.”

“Yeah you did,” Mali says, nodding in a self-satisfied way. Luke turns his attention to David, who offers a handshake to Luke that Luke accepts.

“Doing alright, Luke?” he asks. “It’s been a minute since we’ve seen you.”

“Yeah, alright,” Luke says. “Nice to be back here.”

“We’re glad to have you,” David says. “Right, well, if my children will ever stop gossiping I’d love to say hello to my son who I’ve not seen —”

“Relax, dad,” Calum huffs, giving his dad a hug. “I’m happy to see you.”

“Sure you are,” says David, a twinkle in his eye. “Alright, boys, dinner’s ready but we thought we’d light candles first. Joy’s just finishing up in the dining room and everything’s set up for candles.”

Luke peers over at the Hood’s three hanukkiot in the window. He imagines that they look lovely when lit. “That sounds great to me."

“Just gonna run to the bathroom,” Calum says, “then we can.”

“Luke and I’ll catch up while you do,” Mali calls to him as he goes. Duke trots at his heels, and Luke already knows Calum won’t have the heart to keep him out of the bathroom. Mali turns to Luke. “Come on, catch me up. How are you, how have you been, how’s your job, how’s your life, how is Calum behaving? Tell the truth, I’ll know if you lie about Calum.”

Luke laughs as they sit on the sofa. “Good, good, all good, honestly. Job’s good, life’s good, flat’s good…” He sighs, smiles. “Calum’s good. Look, Mali, I hate to disappoint you, but your brother’s actually a fantastic boyfriend.”

“Fuck,” Mali says, grinning. “What the hell am I supposed to bitch at him about now?”

“He cooked up some incredible _sufganiyot_ this week,” Luke recalls.

Mali nods. “Yeah, he sent a picture to the family group chat. I think he was just bragging.”

“Of course.” Luke turns interestedly to Mali. “How are you? Life, everything?”

Mali makes an okay sign with her fingers. “ _Kol b’seder,_ ” she says. “I’m doing Birthright next year, just registered.”

“Oh, no shit! That’s sick. I never did Birthright, you’ll have to tell me how it is.”

Mali beams. “I’m well excited. Never been to Israel.”

“Oh,” Luke says warmly, “it’s amazing. You’re gonna love it.”

“You’ve been?”

Luke nods. “Yeah, once or twice, with my family. I’ve wanted to go back, but my life sort of got…busy and grown up and now I just haven’t gotten a chance.”

“Well, I bet Calum would love to go,” Mali says, elbowing Luke. “In theory. If you were wondering.”

Luke laughs. “I bet he would. I’d love to go with him.”

“Maybe if he wasn’t in the middle of his master’s degree,” Mali says ruefully. Luke inclines his head.

“Are you two chatting shit?” Calum says, appearing out of nowhere and launching himself over the back of the couch. He lands heavily on Luke’s lap, and Luke _oof_ s in protest. 

“Of course we are,” Mali says. “What the fuck do you expect?”

“We’re talking about how very much you need to lose weight before you decide to pull a move like that,” Luke grumbles, adjusting his position so that Calum is no longer crushing his thighs. “You shithead.”

“Stop your kvetching,” Calum says airily. “Mali, after dinner I need to steal you for a few minutes. Got something to talk to you about.”

“That’s a bit sus,” Luke says. Calum snorts.

“Alright, everyone, time to light candles,” Joy Hood announces, and Luke lights up. He fucking loves Calum’s family.

“Joy!” he says brightly. “Hello!”

“Oh, hello, Luke!” As Luke, Calum, and Mali get to their feet, Joy comes around the couch and pulls Luke into a warm hug. When she pulls back, she says, “And Calum, of course, my second-favorite son.”

“I’m your only son!”

Luke and Mali make eye contact, and both of them laugh over Calum’s offended half-hearted protests. 

* * *

Over dinner, Calum’s parents ask all the polite questions, though Luke has never gotten the impression they’re asking out of politeness. Either they’re genuinely interested or they’re really good actors. Or maybe they just want the latest gossip about Luke’s coworkers at the school where he’s working. Luke’s more than happy to oblige, especially when he discovers how much more fun it is telling these stories to a new crowd instead of the same audience (Calum) over and over. At a particular tale involving the principal, a cup of hot coffee, a new student, and some choice language, Mali laughs so hard she nearly knocks over her glass, and Joy buries her face in her hands.

Conversation shifts to talk of Calum’s second semester courses, then quickly (at Calum’s behest) shifts again to Mali, who without prompting starts raving about how excited she is to go on Birthright, for which she’s apparently been planning to register for years and has accordingly, in true Mali form, done _extensive_ research.

(“I read that one in four people who go on Birthright end up marrying someone who also went on Birthright,” she says at one point, grinning at her parents. “So I might end up with a nice Jewish boy after all!”

“Or girl,” Calum puts in.

Mali gives him a look. “All Jewish girls are nice.”

“I can think of one immediate example to prove you wrong.”

“That’s so rude, Cal, mum’s _right_ here and she can hear you.”)

By the time they’ve all been properly edified on the ins and outs of Birthright, everyone’s finished eating, so David declares that it’s time to clear the table and then they can sort out the rest of the evening, which, he hints, will likely include a game of dreidel or two.

Luke moves to help clean up and Joy shoos him off. “We’ll take care of it,” she says, smiling. “Go schmooze.” 

“Honestly, I don’t mind.”

“Go,” Joy repeats, pointing at the sitting room. “Take your good-for-nothing boyfriend and his sister with you while you’re at it.” But she says it in a teasing tone of voice, and Calum and Mali make twin expressions of mockery at her comment. Most of the time, the two of them look decently alike, but in moments like this the resemblance is disturbingly uncanny.

“Aren’t you going to defend my honor?” Calum demands as Luke drags him to the living room. Duke, who’d been hiding out under the table for all of dinner in hopes of being fed some chicken, follows closely behind them. Possibly suspecting that they are still in possession of chicken. 

“Your honor doesn’t need defending,” Luke replies. “Also, she’s not wrong. You’re pretty much good for nothing.”

“Right, that’s it. I face constant torment. I’m not putting up with this anymore.”

Mali snickers. “You can’t break up with Luke, he’s the only reason we invite you back here.”

“You don’t even live here,” Calum says to Mali.

“I live closer than you do.”

“Stop teaming up on me!” Calum whirls around and glares at both of them. His gaze lands on Luke. “You’re supposed to be on my side, you fuck. Thick and thin.”

“Those are wedding vows,” Luke says. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but we have yet to be married.”

“That’s the lamest excuse ever,” Calum says, rolling his eyes. Then, out of nowhere, he returns his focus to Mali and says, “I need to talk to you.”

Mali sighs. To Luke, she says, “‘Scuse us, Luke, Calum has the worst manners in —”

“Can we not throw me under the bus for _one_ minute? Fifteen seconds? Please!”

Mali laughs as Calum leads her away, apologetically holding up five fingers to Luke as if to indicate that they’ll be five minutes. They disappear down the hall and into what Luke believes to be Mali’s old bedroom, and Luke, for lack of anything better to do, wanders into the kitchen to help clean up.

When David spots him, he clucks disapprovingly. “I thought we sent you out.”

“Well, your children are chatting shit,” Luke says, grinning. “Come on, I can help wash up or something. Give me something to do.”

Joy sighs. “I’d apologize on their behalves but I’m not sure it would make any difference. It’s too late to tell you to cut and run, right?”

“A bit.”

“Alright. In that case.” Joy hands him a dish towel. “You can dry the dishes.”

Luke accepts, gratified. He starts drying the dishes stacked in the drying rack, and there’s something comforting about it, something reminiscent of doing the exact same thing at his and Calum’s flat. It feels like bringing a piece of their home to Calum’s home, a linking thread. Luke wishes only that Calum were here, too, that Calum were washing the dishes and threatening every five minutes to spray Luke with the sink nozzle. The sink nozzle is probably half the reason Luke has trust issues, but the water fights are worth it for the spontaneous dance parties and sneaky kisses and soap-beards that they always manage to slip into the routine. Thinking of it makes Luke smile.

David clears his throat. “You know, in all honesty, Luke, and don’t tell Calum this, obviously, but of all the boyfriends he’s had, I think you’re far and away our favorite.” 

Luke blushes. He has no idea what to say to that and only manages, “Thank you,” through an embarrassed twist of his lips.

Joy hip-checks Luke from her position at the sink. “You make him happy, that’s all. Definitely the happiest we’ve ever seen him. Maybe the happiest he’s ever been.”

“Is this going to become one of those hurt-my-son-and-I’ve-got-a-shotgun talks?”

Both of Calum’s parents laugh. “Of course not,” Joy deadpans. “Though now that you mention it, David, you do still have that shotgun, right? No reason why.” Luke laughs. “No, no. Nothing like that. It’s just, you know. His happiness matters very much to us, and it’s comforting to know that as long as you’re around, we don’t have to be concerned.”

Luke feels warm, warm, warm all over, and he hides his face in the serving bowl he’s drying off. “Well, I do my best. His happiness matters very much to me, too.”

“Exactly,” David says, clapping Luke’s shoulder as he takes the bowl from Luke’s hands to put away.

Calum’s head appears in the doorway of the kitchen. “Christ,” he says when he sees Luke. “You can’t enslave my boyfriend, guys.”

“He came willingly!” Joy protests. “He’s the Dobby to our Harry Potter.”

“Yeah, you hear that, Calum? I’m Dobby.”

“Actually, though,” Joy continues. “Get out of here now. We’ve got the kitchen. If you really want to be helpful you and Cal and Mali can set up the dreidel game.”

Luke concedes to this compromise and hands off the dish towel to David. He leaves the kitchen feeling warmer than when he’d entered, more so when Calum takes one look at his face and suspiciously says, “What? What did they say to you?”

“Oh, just that I’m the sole proprietor of your heart and all that boring legal stuff.”

Calum hums. “Ah. Well, that’s true, at least.”

And it’s not like Luke doesn’t _know_ that, or that he’s not confident in their relationship, or anything, but he would challenge anyone not to have butterflies at Calum making an easy claim like that. He presses a kiss to Calum’s cheek and then Calum turns his head and brushes their lips together.

“Love you,” he says, quietly content.

“Love you more,” Luke replies, smiling like an idiot. All of the shit talk and teasing amounts to nothing, in the end. Luke’s in love with Calum and he’ll be in love until he fucking dies, and as long as he reminds Calum every few hours, he feels eerily confident that they’ll never go astray.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **~hebrew cheat sheet~**  
>  > **kol b'seder:** everything's okay!  
> > **kvetching:** another one that i think is technically yiddish but it just means complaining


	5. chamesh // חמש

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke’s dreidel luck is so tragic it’s almost laughable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i couldnt very well write a hanukkah fic without dreidel could i
> 
> the game is explained in layman's terms in the chapter so i won't go into it and i wouldn't worry too much about it. but i WILL say that while dreidel is "traditionally" played with gelt (chocolate coins), in reality that's super impractical because of just like quantities, so my family always uses m&ms instead. hence, m&ms in the fic
> 
> ALSO!! tw for alcohol!!! it's only in this chapter, so you can skip this chapter and read the other ones and i don't THINK it will really affect the reading experience. that said, i can also Probably rewrite this section/chapter without the alcohol, so if you'd like me to do that, just send me a message (my tumblr's in the end notes i think? ao3 end notes get weird on chapter fics but it should be) or just leave a comment i guess if that's easier

**fifth night**

Luke’s dreidel luck is so tragic it’s almost laughable.

It's not his fault. His hands were cursed by a witch in his youth, he's pretty sure. That's the only explanation he can come up with for how he manages to be so consistently awful at the game.

Not that that has ever crushed his spirit for it. (And it's not like he's not going to be snacking on M&Ms during and after every round, anyway.) It would be heartening to win, just once, but Luke's really not holding out hope. He plays for the snacks and the company.

Calum, on the other hand.

"I hope you know that this is absolutely insane."

Calum looks up from the table, where he's got two dreidels spinning at once. "Call it what you want," he says loftily. "I call it strategy."

"It's a game of chance."

"Obviously it's not or you wouldn't be so rubbish at it."

"Hey," Luke protests half-heartedly. One of Calum's dreidels has landed on _gimel_ and one on _nun_ ; he immediately discards the latter, puts the former in the _keep_ pile, and takes another two.

They could be here all night with the amount of dreidels the two of them have amassed over the years.

"Why don't you stop being jealous of my masterful dreidel technique and put out some bowls and stuff? The boys'll be here in twenty minutes or so."

Luke huffs and shakes his head, but Calum's laser-focused. It's a matter of picking battles, with Calum; Luke figures this one isn't worth his energy and goes to the kitchen to take out some bowls and fill them with M&Ms.

The candles are already lit for tonight, and their reflection in the glass is becoming a real sight to behold; twelve flickering flames throw an amber glow on the window and the aluminium underneath. Sometimes, in the late evenings, they'll turn off all the lights in the flat, a tradition from Calum's family. Luke loves it, loves to cuddle on the couch and watch the mesmerizing dance of the fire in the dark as the candles slowly melt.

Before that, though, they've invited Michael, Ashton, Jack, and Alex over for some dreidel and drinking. Jack and Alex volunteered to bring the wine, upon the insistence that Alex is an expert for selecting the perfect wine for every occasion. (Luke, whose wine savvy starts and ends with “red with meat, white with fish,” concedes with little argument.) They’re slated to arrive around nine, which means Luke really should start setting up. He never knows if Jack and Alex will arrive on time; when Jack manages to wrangle Alex out the door, they tend to be punctual, but more often than not Alex lags behind and makes the pair of them fashionably late. It’s anyone’s guess with those two.

At any rate, Ashton and Michael are reliably on time, so Luke begins filling two bowls with M&Ms in anticipation of the game. Everyone’s got a job. Calum’s just happens to be Resident Dreidel-Tester.

And Luke’s is M&M Bowl-Filler.

* * *

“Before we start,” Ashton says, “can I get the elevator pitch of the rules? Michael explained but I don’t think I understood.”

“Which was not my fault,” Michael says, though his expression says it probably was his fault a bit, and anyway Ashton is useless when Michael is explaining anything, just sits there gazing in slack-jawed adoration like some invalid in love, so. It’s probably a joint fault.

“I got this,” Jack says, shooting a collective look around the table as if daring anyone else to challenge his ability to explain the game of dreidel. When nobody does, he continues, grabbing a dreidel and placing it before Ashton on the table. “Okay. This is a dreidel. You with me so far?”

Ashton raises his eyebrows with a dry smile. “So far.”

“Okay, now the dreidel has four sides, and each side has a letter. The letter tells you what you’re going to do on your turn. If you get _gimel,_ that’s this one, then you take the whole pot. If you get _hey,_ you take half the pot. _Hey,_ half, you follow?”

Ashton looks less confident this time when he nods.

“Cool,” Jack says, barreling onward. “This one is _shin,_ and if you get this then you have to ante up, like, put whatever the ante is into the pot. So _shin,_ you put _in._ And then the last one is _nun,_ and if you get _nun_ you don’t do anything and it goes to the next person. Easy.”

Ashton presses his lips together. “Okay. Got it. I’m — I’ll pick it up as we play.”

“Attaboy,” Jack says, grinning impishly. He returns to his seat and throws an arm around Alex, who’s focused on color-sorting his M&Ms. “Are we starting?”

“ _I’m_ starting,” Calum announces.

“ _I’m_ starting,” Michael argues. Before Calum can say anything about it, Michael spins his dreidel, and Calum rolls his eyes. 

“You’re a piece of shit, you know that?”

“I know,” Michael says, then smirks when his dreidel lands on _gimel._ “A wealthy piece of shit, though.”

“Please, we’ve only just started playing. It’s anyone’s game.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Michael sticks his tongue out as Ashton takes his turn. His dreidel lands on _nun,_ and he seems triumphant enough just remembering the meaning of the spin that he doesn’t complain when the game moves swiftly on.

And so it goes.

Luke's not sure if he's more surprised that Jack's a gracious loser or that Alex is a sore winner. If anything, he would have predicted the opposite, but Jack seems to have taken a very _Luke_ approach to the game. Meaning that from the get-go he's prepared to lose and seems happy to just nosh to his heart's content. When he does get out, he jokes, "Damn, I really thought tonight would be the night I would lose my dreidel victory virginity," and reaches for a handful of M&Ms. Luke, in loser’s solidarity (he's already out), also takes some M&Ms, and together they munch.

But Alex is a fucking nightmare. Every _gimel_ he spins is accompanied by a triumphant cheer, and when he wins the game, edging Michael out slowly but surely, he leaps to his feet, crowing, "Fuck yeah! Who's the dreidel champ? Who's the man? Who's the fucking man?"

Luke suspects some of it has to do with the rapidly-emptying bottle of chardonnay. Alex isn't usually this insufferable, although on reflection Luke doesn't think he's ever played any kind of competitive game with him, so maybe it's more like an undiscovered side. 

By their second round, Jack has managed to convince Alex to tone it down, and in a surprising turn of events, Ashton comes out victorious. He seems dead pleased about it, and even Michael, who'd been attempting soft sabotage on Ashton since the game began, looks genuinely thrilled that his goy boyfriend has won.

Luke wins nothing, but Calum wins their third game and then the fourth as well, to many loud protests from Michael and Alex, both of whom accuse Calum of cheating. Calum turns his nose up at them while also flipping them off, which makes Luke laugh.

Everything kind of devolves from there, and by halfway through their fifth game, Calum and Alex, who are both out, are having their own dreidel spin-off contest at one end of the table, complete with trash talk. Luke, by some miracle of Hanukkah, is still in, although he's on his last legs. If Jack's dreidel lands on _gimel_ , Luke's fucked.

Everyone who’s still in the game waits with bated breath while the dreidel wobbles and falls…

…on _gimel._

"Let's go!" Jack whoops, pouring the M&Ms in the "pot" onto his pile, which doubles in size. Luke concedes with an easy-going shrug and takes a handful of M&Ms as a consolation prize.

"I think Jack's cheating," Michael announces, even though Michael is in no danger of getting out anytime soon by the looks of his pile.

"Baseless accusation," Jack replies, eating a few of the M&Ms set out for snacking. "You're just jealous of my nimble dreidel fingers."

"That's the worst way you could have said that," Ashton puts in as he spins his dreidel. Luke laughs and moves his chair closer to Calum so he can observe the spin-off.

"Your spin is _weak,_ " Alex is saying to Calum as Calum's dreidel falls. " _And_ you got a _shin!_ "

"I've beaten you the last four times," Calum fires back. Luke rests his chin on Calum's shoulder, watching the competition from his perch. Without hesitation, Calum brings his hand up and gently pats Luke's face, thumb brushing his cheek before it returns to pick up his dreidel.

Luke smiles, big and cheesy and bright. "You know, Alex, Cal was actually practising for a while before you guys got here. He test-spun all the dreidels and everything."

"Of course he did."

"You're using one of the bad ones," Luke adds. 

"There's no good or bad dreidels," Alex says wisely. "Only good or bad dreidel-players. Young Mr. Hood over here is an example of the latter."

"And Old Man Gaskarth is example number two," Calum retorts. In a feat of impeccable timing, both of their dreidels fall at the exact same time on _nun._

Luke laughs. The game is now down to just Jack and Michael, and as Luke glances back at it, Jack’s dreidel lands and Michael shouts, “FUCK yeah! Get fucked, Barakat!”

“I think that’s the plan for later,” Jack says agreeably, though he does throw an M&M at Michael, which Luke suspects is just for show. 

Calum and Alex have called a truce on their dreidel spin-off for now, and as if on cue, Alex yawns.

“What time is it?” he asks, looking around for a clock. Luke checks his phone.

“Oh, fuck,” he says. “Nearly midnight.”

“What?” Michael looks shocked. “Is it really? Feels earlier.”

“Not to me,” Alex says.

Jack turns to Michael. “I take back what I said about later plans.” This gets a laugh out of Michael and a swat on the shoulder from Alex. “Actually, though, that’s probably a sign we should get out of here.”

“Hang on, wait,” Alex protests. “We can help clean up.”

“No, no, no way.” Luke waves both of them off. “Go home, go to bed, it’s our place. Don’t worry about it.”

Alex smiles wide. “You know, Luke,” he says, “I’m really fuckin’ stoked for you.” To Calum: “You too, man. This place…you got it. You deserve it. And you seem really happy, and I’m happy for you.”

“Shit,” Luke says. “I thought you were going to be a dick again. I don’t know what to say to that.”

“Thank you,” Calum says, clapping a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “We spent a lot of money to make it the kind of place that would make you say that.”

Alex makes a face. “Alright, jeez. You try to give one compliment.”

“Really, thank you,” Luke hurriedly rectifies. Alex laughs a bit. “That — it means a lot. Honest.”

“You are welcome,” Alex says. He looks at Jack. “Okay. Let’s roll.”

“Let’s roll!” Jack grabs another few M&Ms and shoves them into his mouth. “Road snack.”

“Naturally.” Calum turns. “Mikey, Ash, you guys also heading out? You can stay as long as you like.”

Ashton and Michael have some silent conversation between them. “Think we’ll go,” Ashton says finally. “It’s a bit late and we were up late last night as well.”

“Playing Final Fantasy X,” Michael explains. “Ashton’s awful at it.”

“I just fucking learned, of course I’m no good!”

 _Awful,_ Michael mouths, never mind that Ashton can see his face and scoffs.

“Right, get out of our flat, then,” Calum says, pushing back his chair. Luke follows suit, and slowly they make their way to the front door, where, after much retrieval of jackets and hugs goodbye, the boys all end up outside, waiting for the lift.

“Thanks for coming over,” Luke says, waving. “ _Laila tov_ , everyone. Text us when you’re home.”

“God, you’re like a proper mum,” Michael says in contempt. 

“We’ll text,” Ashton says, elbowing Michael. Michael doesn’t respond, just links their fingers together.

Calum points at Alex and then at Michael. “I’ll ring you both later.”

Alex makes a telephone hand gesture. “Lookin’ forward to it.”

The lift dings then, so everyone choruses one more farewell as Luke shuts their door. For a moment, he and Calum stand there, listening to the shuffling of feet that means everyone outside their flat is getting in the lift, and then there’s another ding and it’s quiet.

It’s _quiet._

After several hours playing cacophonous dreidel with rowdy boys, the lack of noise feels like a Hanukkah miracle itself. Luke sighs. He loves his friends to death, but there is something to be said for a pause like this.

“Right,” Calum says. “Let’s clean up, shall we?”

Luke holds out a hand and Calum takes it, but for another long moment, neither of them move. They stand with their backs against the door and soak up the silence, palms pressed together.

Then Calum squeezes his hand, and as one they begin to tidy up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **~hebrew cheat sheet~**  
>  > **goy:** again i think this is yiddish but. it's just a word for a non-jew  
> > **laila tov:** goodnight  
> > also the letters on the dreidel are the following: gimel (ג), hey (ה), shin (ש), and nun (נ) and if you want Any better explanation of the rules they are very easy to google. or you can ask! but i'm not gonna take up your time with that here lol


	6. sheish // שש

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment they’re finished lighting candles, Luke turns to Calum. “We’re exchanging presents tonight,” he says. “Like it or not.”
> 
> Calum just smiles. “Cool.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the PRESENTS chapter finally long-awaited just kidding but seriously who the fuck opens their presents on the sixth night. i don't know but certainly not me. anyway onward

**sixth night**

All things considered, Luke is impressed he’s held out this long.

Presents in the Hemmings household have always been a first-night tradition. Second night at _latest._ Luke’s family isn’t exactly well-versed in the art of delayed gratification. But in Luke’s opinion, the earlier you open the presents, the more time you get to enjoy them. 

Calum disagrees, though. And Luke is supposed to pretend to be an adult these days, so he graciously acquiesces. Calum suggests they open them later in the week, and “later” keeps getting later and later, until finally they’re on the _sixth_ night and Luke decides enough is enough.

The moment they’re finished lighting candles, he turns to Calum. “We’re exchanging presents tonight,” he says. “Like it or not.”

Calum just smiles. “Cool.”

So here they are, across from each other on the floor of the living room. Calum has two wrapped gifts stacked on top of each other in his hands, both rectangular, one somewhat larger than the other. Luke has…an envelope.

(He is very confident in the quality of the contents within the envelope, but he does feel a little bit like he’s underdelivered here. Even though. He definitely has not.)

There’s no trace of skepticism in Calum’s face as he takes in Luke’s underwhelming present. “You wanna start?”

“No,” Luke says. “Definitely not. You first.”

Calum gives Luke a suspicious look, then shrugs. “Okay,” he says, and hands Luke both rectangular packages. “Happy Hanukkah.”

“Thank you,” Luke says, grinning eagerly. He’s careful with the wrapping paper but eventually gets it off the smaller of the two presents, and when he sees what’s inside he gasps.

“Oh my — _Calum._ ”

Calum blushes. “You wouldn’t shut up about it, so I thought…”

“You shouldn’t — you really should not have,” Luke says, pulling out the eyeshadow palette he’s probably spent far too many hours raving over. It’s BH Cosmetic’s Zodiac Love Signs and okay, maybe Luke is a _little_ obsessed with it, but in his defense it’s really fucking pretty and the colors are _so_ nice and, whatever, Luke doesn’t need a reason why he’s obsessed with it. He just _is_ , but like, kind of in the way that you’d be obsessed over an old band, with no expectation that you’d ever get to experience them.

And yet Calum’s bought the palette for Luke.

“Why the fuck not?” Calum says with a teasing smile. “What the fuck else was I supposed to get you? You wanted the palette and I knew you weren’t going to get it for yourself.”

Luke has nothing to say to that. He looks from Calum to the palette and runs his fingers over the top. “I’m so fucking excited to use it,” he breathes. “It’s got such good colors. Would look great on you. You’re letting me put this on you whether you like it or not, sorry.”

“You think I didn’t think of that when I bought it?” Luke looks up again, and Calum’s smile has only grown. “I’m sure I can easily be persuaded to let you put makeup on me again.”

Luke laughs quietly. “Wow. You love me so much.”

“So glad you’ve finally caught on,” Calum says dryly. He taps the other gift impatiently. “Come on, I want to open yours and I can’t until you’ve finished opening mine.”

Luke sets aside the palette with difficulty, intrigued by the second gift. “Is this more makeup?”

“Yes,” Calum says seriously. “It’s lipstick.”

“I can tell,” Luke says. “By the shape.” He laughs when Calum does, then sets to work unwrapping it. It’s clear Calum wants to say something but is holding back, so Luke gives him a look. “Out with it.”

Calum grimaces. “Well, I knew for sure you would like the eyeshadow because you talked a lot about it. This one I sort of _think_ you’ll like — I mean I’m pretty sure — but I sort of went with my gut, I guess. So…” He trails off as Luke manages to free the book within from its wrapping and flip it over to see the cover.

“‘Best Rock Songs,’” he reads, “‘2000-2005.’ Is this — sheet music?” Although it obviously is, Luke can tell from the design of the cover and, flipping through it, the pages. “Oh my God, _Nickelback?_ ”

“Yeah, well, you’ve been playing more piano lately,” Calum says nervously. “But I didn’t want to get you a book of sheet music for pop music, because, uh, annoying.”

“Fucking _Green Day!”_ Luke says excitedly, scanning the back of the book for the complete list of songs within. “Simple Plan!” He looks up at Calum, eyes shining. “Calum, this is fucking sick, I can’t wait to learn these.”

Calum looks positively delighted. “Oh,” he says. “Good. I was hoping that would be your reaction.”

“Of course it’s my reaction,” Luke says, rolling his eyes fondly. “It’s an amazing gift, I’ll use it all the time and think of you. _Nickelback,_ Cal.”

“Nickelback,” Calum agrees, beaming. “I thought you’d like that.”

“Nickelback!”

“Yeah! Nickelback!”

Luke grins foolishly. “You’re amazing,” he says warmly, leaning forward to press a kiss to Calum’s lips. “Thank you. Best boyfriend ever.”

“Fuck yeah,” Calum says. “Mike and I have a running competition. I’m telling him you said that.”

Luke laughs. His gaze catches on the flickering candles in the windowsill as they slowly burn down, melting into wax, sealing Luke’s smile into place. “Okay, my turn,” he says, brushing aside the wrapping paper. He picks up the envelope before Calum can and clears his throat. “Now, um, before you open this, just…uh. I feel like I should preface this gift with something, but I can’t really think of what without spoiling what it is, so.” 

“So…I can open it?”

Luke nods and presents the envelope to Calum, who takes it delicately, gives Luke one more look, and then unseals it and pulls out the paper inside.

Immediately, he gasps. “No,” he says, staring. Luke bites his lip. Even knowing what’s inside, he gets a little secondhand thrill when Calum’s eyes widen in realization. “Luke. No fucking way.”

“It’s less of a _thing_ and more like a promise,” Luke says hesitantly. “Which I know is kind of a lame —”

“Shut up,” Calum says, shifting his stare from the paper in his hand to Luke’s face. “You’re — seriously? For real?”

“If you want to go,” Luke says, although it’s a ridiculous question, because between Luke’s conversation with Mali earlier in the week and the look on Calum’s face right now, there’s absolutely no doubt Calum wants to go.

It’s Israel, after all.

“ _Luke,_ ” Calum breathes. The paper falls to the floor, which is fine, because it’s really just two fake printed tickets that say something cheesy like _worth one trip to Israel_ or something. They’ve been sealed in the envelope for long enough that Luke’s forgotten what he put. “Oh my fucking God. This is — you can’t just give me an entire trip to Israel.”

“It’s not _just_ yours. I’m coming too. It’s an us trip.”

“That’s even fucking better!”

“Why are you complaining about a gift you like?”

“It’s just —” Calum falters, grasping for the right word.

“ _Mugzam?_ ”

“I don’t know that word, but probably!”

“It means _excessive,_ which this isn’t,” Luke says. “I mean, I didn’t just buy us plane tickets. But I’m saying I want to. I want _us_ to. I think we should go to Israel. You’re gonna love it, the food’s so good, the falafel here is a joke in comparison.”

“Luke,” Calum says, suddenly drop-dead serious. “I — I just, holy shit. I love you. This is incredible. _You_ are incredible.”

Luke blushes. “It’s a selfish gift,” he admits. “I just really want to take you to Israel.”

“If this is a selfish gift, I can’t possibly imagine what a selfless one would look like.” Calum leans towards Luke, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him in to kiss. Luke feels relieved and happy and warm and stupid in love, more so every second with Calum’s lips on his, murmurs of _thank you_ and _I love you_ whenever there’s a break to breathe. It’s not like he’d been _worried,_ exactly — he’d sort of figured something like this would go over well — but it’s nice to have the confirmation in Calum’s voice.

Finally they separate, though Calum moves his grip from Luke’s shirt to his hand, a big bright smile creasing the corners of his eyes. “Okay, you win,” he says. “Your present was better than mine.”

“ _No,_ this is not how we’re doing this,” Luke says firmly. “It’s not a competition.”

“I’m teasing,” Calum says. “Although seriously, I cannot fucking wait to go to Israel with you.”

“I thought we could maybe go this time next year?” Luke says hesitantly. “We’ll both have this break again, but we’ll have time to plan. Unless you wanna go in the summer, but it’ll be really fucking hot, so I don’t recommend it.”

“Yes,” Calum says fervently. “Yes to all of that. Yes to everything. Everything you say is a yes from me. I love you, you know?”

“I know.” Luke smiles indulgently. “Doesn’t hurt to hear it, though.”

“ _Toda raba,_ ” Calum says, then immediately looks overjoyed that he’s remembered how to say _thank you very much_ in Hebrew. “Right?”

“Exactly right,” Luke says, nodding in approval. “You’re basically a local already.”

“You’ll have to teach me more Hebrew,” Calum says. 

“I don’t know that much.”

“Well, you know more than I do. How do you say bathroom?”

Luke laughs. “ _Shirutim._ ”

“How do you say _where’s the bathroom?_ ”

“ _Efo hashirutim?_ ” Luke says obligingly. Calum echoes the sentence. “Very nice. _Now_ you’re a local. Proper Israeli.”

Calum hums. “Maybe I should just let you do the talking. Always love hearing you chatting in Hebrew anyway.”

“What am I, your slave? You know, the Jews were freed back in, uh, whenever the Jews were freed. Biblical times.”

“Biblical times?”

Luke makes a face. “Biblical times, yes. Final answer. Shut up. Let’s talk about something else.”

“Fine,” Calum says. “Clean up the wrapping paper and I’ll make some tea, how about that?”

Luke exhales. “That sounds fantastic. You’re a godsend.”

Calum stands up, holding out a hand for Luke to pull himself up. “I know.” Smacking a kiss to Luke’s cheek, he sings, “Clean up!” and then dances off to the kitchen, humming a tune under his breath. Luke is pretty sure it’s Ma’oz Tzur, and it puts a smile on his face as he sets to collecting the wrapping paper. 

There’s so much he wants to do with Calum — in life, in general — but visiting Israel has always been high on the list, and now they might. Now they _will._ Giddiness bubbles up in Luke’s chest, fizzing with anticipation in his heart. The combination might kill him, bringing the love of his life (Calum) to the other love of his life (Israel), but for a cause like that Luke would gladly die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just saying, both of the gifts luke receives in this are real things and the palette IS really pretty it's [here](https://www.bhcosmetics.com/products/zodiac-love-signs) and i'm not gonna link the piano book but trust me it's a real thing. we're nothing if not authentic here on bellawritess
> 
>  **~hebrew cheat sheet~** (most of the hebrew in this chapter also gets defined within but i'll just put it all here anyway just for redundancy's sake!)  
> > **mugzam:** excessive  
> > **toda raba:** thank you very much, thank you so much  
> > **efo hashirutim:** where's the bathroom? (shirutim = bathroom) (i know it says all of this in the fic but You Know)  
> > ma'oz tzur is one of many songs that we sing on hanukkah, and this one translates to rock of ages, though it is not the def leppard rock of ages lol it's just. called rock of ages. i have no idea if it's culturally linked with any english rock of ages this is the extent of my knowledge of the song. in hebrew it's called ma'oz tzur


	7. sheva // שבע

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I am super comfy,” Calum says, smiling. “I am the comfiest man in all the lands.” He pauses, gaze flitting to the book in Luke’s hands. “You reading?”
> 
> “No, no, I’m done with the chapter,” Luke says, tossing his book onto the coffee table. “Come cuddle.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a short chapter of STRAIGHT up fluff. nothing to add

**seventh night**

Calum yawns as he enters the living room. “Hey,” he says sleepily.

Luke glances up from his book. It’s not cold in the flat, but not particularly warm, which is why he’s curled up on the couch with a blanket over his legs. Calum has taken a different approach; he’s all bundled up in a hoodie and sweats, fuzzy socks muffling his footsteps.

“Hey,” Luke says back. “You look comfy.”

“I am super comfy,” Calum says, smiling. “I am the comfiest man in all the lands.” He pauses, gaze flitting to the book in Luke’s hands. “You reading?”

“No, no, I’m done with the chapter,” Luke says, tossing his book onto the coffee table. “Come cuddle.”

“Can I turn the lights off?”

“I would love for you to turn the lights off,” Luke says. He prefers it this way, with the Hanukkah candles aglow in the window. There’s a certain kind of beauty in knowing that his only illumination is coming from a light source like candles, something so primitive and yet so timeless.

Maybe it’s poetic. Maybe Luke is poetic. Or maybe it’s nothing, and Luke just likes pretty things.

Calum hits the light switch of the living room and it dims immediately, just dark enough to see the silhouettes of the furniture but none of the detail. The shrouded figure of Calum moves towards the couch, and Luke obligingly shifts over to make space for him between himself and the armrest.

“Thank you,” Calum says graciously as he sits. Immediately, Luke settles into him, leaning his head on Calum’s chest and closing his eyes. “Oh, perfect. I knew my comfy cozy getup was missing something.”

Luke chuckles. “You absolute idiot, you forgot your Luke.”

“I forgot my Luke.”

“Rookie mistake.”

“Honestly, you should just revoke my boyfriend card.”

“You know, I’m thinking about it. I feel like I’m the most essential part of the coziness.”

Calum sighs. “You’re right, you’re so right. I’m a fool.”

“Yes,” Luke says solemnly. “But you’re my fool.”

Calum pats his shoulder. “I thought you just revoked my boyfriend card.”

“I’m restoring it. I like being your boyfriend.”

“Technically, you never stopped being my boyfriend.”

“Okay, I liked when you were my boyfriend.”

“I accept that,” Calum says quietly, and Luke can hear the smile in his voice. “Thank you for returning my boyfriend card. I won’t abuse this privilege.”

“Yeah, you will,” Luke says loftily, also smiling.

Calum breathes a laugh. “Yeah. I will.”

They fall into an easy quiet. Luke turns his head and opens his eyes, gazing in reverence at the blazing candles on the windowsill. One more night and they’ll have a full picture. It’s close enough with this many, though. The light is still dazzling, still golden. Sixteen candles isn’t quite eighteen, but Luke can appreciate this for what it is; the moment just before the last moment, the sigh before the smile, the sunrise before a warm sunny day. The seventh night is both a precursor to the eighth and something beautiful in its own right. 

With the lights all off like this, Luke thinks he and Calum could just vanish into the night, melt into shadows. Without the Hanukkah candles flickering, they might, but the light is enough to keep them both from slipping into dreams. Luke looks up at Calum, unsticking his cheek from the front of Calum’s jumper to instead meet his eyes.

“Look at us,” Calum murmurs. “Making a home.”

Luke remembers a time when a comment like that would have made his heart do a double backflip. Their honeymoon phase had been long, and Luke has always fallen so easily to pretty words and smiles. Calum brought — _brings_ — an abundance of both, and for a long time Luke pinched himself at every confession, certain that this must be a dream.

Now, though, he just smiles. It doesn’t make his heart beat faster, or his hands feel shaky, or his head spin. They _are_ making a home, have been for a while, building a space for the two of them. Since the start, they’ve taken the bare bones of this flat and turned it into a self-portrait. _Hemmings & Hood, _ the plaque would read. And Luke doesn’t feel like this silly kid with a crush anymore, because he isn’t one anymore. This isn’t a crush, this is _love,_ real love, _true_ love, the kind Luke’s waited for his whole life, getting secondhand fixes out of Disney movies and cheesy romantic comedies. Except it’s better, because movies end, but this…this is forever. 

There’s never going to be anyone besides Calum.

“‘S just another word for _you,_ ” Luke whispers, tilting his head and giving Calum a soft smile through the dark.

Calum shakes his head. “Don’t quote Billy Joel at me. That’s so off-brand.”

“It’s romantic,” Luke insists, and kisses Calum on the cheek. “But I mean it. It’s only home because of you. You know?”

“And you,” Calum adds, stroking Luke’s cheek with his thumb. “You know what I meant, though. It’s — there’s a home with just the two of us, and then there’s a home where you…can invite friends over for dinner and set up your hanukkiot in the window and wash the dishes and everything. We already had a home, but now it’s…”

“A place.”

“Yeah. We’ve got roots.” Calum kisses him. “Feels more real.”

 _There’s nothing more real than you,_ Luke thinks about saying. _You could be the only real thing in the world and it would be enough for me._

 _“Ani ohev otcha,_ ” he says instead, an I-love-you that somehow feels a million times more truthful. To be in love in English is easy, but Luke is in love in every language.

“Mm, I love it when you talk Hebrew to me,” Calum says, smiling. “ _Ani ohev otcha_ too.”

“ _Gam,_ ” Luke supplies. Calum looks confused. “It’d be _ani gam ohev otcha._ Or you could just say _gam ani._ ”

“Okay, pretend I’ve said that,” Calum says. “I love you too, Luke. You make my life good.”

Luke closes his eyes and drops his head back onto Calum’s chest. With his free hand he grabs at the blanket at his feet and drags it over the both of them. “This has been the best Hanukkah of my entire life.”

“Same,” Calum murmurs, kissing his forehead. “But here’s to many more.”

“ _L’chaim_.” They do an imaginary toast, clinking invisible glasses, and Luke can really only see the candles out of the corner of his eye, but he can feel their warmth from across the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **~hebrew cheat sheet~**  
>  > **ani ohev otcha:** i love you  
> > **gam:** also (a modifier, so if you said "ani gam ohev otcha" that would be "i love you too") ("ani" means i/me, so "gam ani" means me too)  
> > **l'chaim:** to life! (a thing you say when you make a toast) (you may recognize from fiddler on the roof lmao)
> 
> also: the billy joel reference is to his song "you're my home" which was my parents' wedding song :) romance


	8. shmona // שמונה

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum squeezes his hip. “It’s kind of perfect, isn’t it? Does it jinx it to say that?”
> 
> “Bit late to jinx it, it’s already the last night.” Luke closes his eyes a moment and tips his head onto Calum’s shoulder. “And yeah, it’s kind of perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)))))

**eighth night**

For a minute after they light the last candles, Luke doesn’t move.

Calum doesn’t speak either; maybe he’s in the moment, too, or maybe he’s just allowing Luke to have it. Either way, Luke loves him for it, and he holds out an arm to allow Calum to slide under and fit himself against Luke’s side.

Their breathing matches up. Luke doesn’t bother trying to stop the smile as it spreads over his face. The shine of the candlelight in the windows is beautiful. It’s on the tip of Luke’s tongue to suggest they don’t move at all, just stay glued to the spot as the wax slowly melts down, let it harden around their feet and affix them to the floor, standing like this, side by side. Between the glimmer of the fire and the lights of the flat behind them, his and Calum’s reflection is as clear as it’ll get in the window. Still, with all the lights, their likenesses blend together, silhouettes blurring, dark colors mingling within the outline of their mirror image. That’s how it should be, Luke thinks to himself. That’s how he wants it to be, how he wants _them_ to be. There’s hardly any point seeing himself reflected back without Calum’s overlapping figure. It feels right to see the two of them there, echoed as one.

That’s a bit overly poetic, and Luke doesn’t really make a habit of being poetic. He wonders what it is about Calum that makes him see poetry in everything, although he already knows the answer to that.

When it’s been long enough, Luke breathes out, and suddenly the rest of the world returns to focus. He hadn’t intended to zone out, but now all of his senses kick back into gear; the quiet whirring of the heating throughout the flat, that particular scent of Hanukkah candles that somehow can’t be recreated by any other candles at any other time of the year, the warm impression Calum’s hand leaves against Luke’s waist.

“Thanks,” he murmurs, clearing his throat to get his voice working again. 

Calum squeezes his hip. “It’s kind of perfect, isn’t it? Does it jinx it to say that?”

“Bit late to jinx it, it’s already the last night.” Luke closes his eyes a moment and tips his head onto Calum’s shoulder. “And yeah, it’s kind of perfect.”

A small exhale. “Actually, there was one thing I was hoping to do tonight before we called it the end of Hanukkah, if that’s — if it’s — if that’s alright.”

“‘Course it’s alright,” Luke says. “What is it? Don’t say dreidel competition, that’s the only thing I won’t do. We both know you’ll just decimate me.”

Calum breathes a laugh. “Not a dreidel competition. Although…” A pause. Luke opens his eyes and turns a warning look onto Calum, who chuckles. “Okay, no. Not a dreidel competition.”

“Okay,” Luke says. He gives Calum a small smile, because Calum looks like he needs it. “I’m down for whatever, in that case.”

“Oh, good,” Calum says, inhaling. He pats Luke’s waist twice then retracts his arm and takes a step back. “Well, um, I’ve…I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.” He bites his lip and laughs. “A _long_ time. Actually probably a creepy amount. Uh.” He shoves both hands into his pockets and smiles self-consciously. A feeling of anticipation creeps across Luke’s skin. “I had to wait to be sure that I wasn’t just crazy, because, man,” he shakes his head and laughs, “I love you so much, Luke, and I’ve loved you for such a long time it’s — I don’t even remember a time when I didn’t.”

Luke wants to say something, say _Calum_ or _I don’t know how not to love you either_ or _are you doing what I think you’re doing?_ but he’s fucking speechless, and his heart is in his throat.

“The thing is,” Calum continues, shifting on his feet, “it’s not even just that I love you, you know? I just, I like you so much. I like everything about you. I could try to list everything I like about you, but by the time I finished Hanukkah really _would_ be over and we’d both be delirious from lack of sleep. Huh, this is going immediately not as well as I pictured it going in my head.”

It’s a miracle that Luke can hear Calum at all over the thudding of his heart, so loud it’s echoing around his skull from where it’s ramming into his ribcage. His face must betray something of it, because Calum smiles apologetically. “Sorry, I’m taking forever,” he says, “and I’m sure — I hope you’ve figured out where this is going, or else, uh, I’ve vastly overestimated your intelligence? Or maybe I’ve underrepresented exactly what —”

“I know where it’s fucking going, Calum,” Luke manages, and he laughs a little to dislodge some of the nerves building up everywhere he can feel. 

Calum also laughs nervously. “God, sorry. Okay. Well, can I just — okay. Let me just — yeah. Fuck! Okay, here goes. I promise I won’t go on and on.” An inhale, and when he speaks next his voice is a little steadier. “Okay. Luke. Since the very first day I met you, you’ve done nothing but make me better. Every day you remind me of all the reasons I love you, and you never let me down. You know how people always say they wish they could hear their favorite song for the first time again, or watch their favorite show, or something? That’s how it feels to be with you. I fall in love again every day.”

The candlelight dances over Calum’s profile, sharpening the line of his jaw but softening his eyes, bathing dark curls in golden splendor. The warm light cast over the half side of his face gives him an angelic glow, and all at once it hits Luke what’s happening and what it means, and before he knows it there are tears in his eyes.

Calum continues, and Luke can see his eyes shining as well. “Luke, you’re the best man I know, and every second with you is a privilege. I want —” A tear slips down his cheek and he brushes it away, laughing wetly. “Fuck. I really just want to be done so I can _ask_ already, so I’m just going to — uh, yeah.” He pulls his hand out of his pocket, and with it, a small black box, and Luke thinks his heart stops, maybe. Calum takes a deep breath, although it does nothing for his shaking hands as he pries the box open, and Luke barely restrains himself from reaching out. Slowly, Calum lowers himself down on one knee. Through Luke’s blurry vision and pounding heartbeat, Calum smiles softly up at him and says, “ _Ani ohev otcha,_ Luke, _l’netzach._ So…marry me?”

The next thing Luke says isn’t really English or any language, but he thinks Calum can probably guess his answer by the strangled noise he makes as he nods. 

“Yes, yeah, of course,” he breathes once he’s remembered more or less how to speak. “Yes a thousand times, can I say yes more times than that? Do you —”

“Okay,” Calum says, and laughs, clearly relieved. “Don’t be too eager, it’s unattractive.”

“Fuck you,” Luke says, also laughing. He can’t help but laugh when Calum is too, and if he doesn’t laugh he’ll cry, although he kind of already is, and so is Calum, and really they’re both just cry-laughing or maybe laugh-crying and Luke helps him to his feet and there are so many _tears_ as Luke buries his face in Calum’s shoulder and Calum wraps his arms around Luke and fuck, they fit so perfectly, how could they _not_ be engaged? How could they have gone this long without being engaged?

“ _Ani ohev otcha,_ you fucking romantic,” Luke mumbles, a wobbly smile threatening nevertheless to break his face in two. “ _L’netzach,_ where did you learn that?”

“Mali,” Calum answers with a quiet laugh. “When I pulled her away after dinner this week. I mean, it wasn’t just that. I had to —” He breaks off in thought. “I wanted to make sure this wasn’t, I don’t know. Too fast or too — anything.”

Luke presses his face into Calum’s neck. “And?”

“And she laughed at me and told me that if I didn’t propose before Hanukkah was over she would do it for me.”

“That sounds like Mali.”

“Yeah. That’s what, uh, Michael said as well, basically. And Alex. And…my parents.” A pause. “And your parents.”

“Jesus,” Luke says, giggling. “Did everyone know you were going to propose except me?”

“Basically,” Calum confesses. “I was kind of nervous, as you can imagine.”

“I can’t, actually. You did a great job.”

“Oh, did I? How would you rate this marriage proposal?”

“Ten out of ten,” Luke declares, finally feeling enough like he won’t break down crying to pull away and look Calum in the face. There’s a light blush on Calum’s cheeks. “Ten thousand out of ten,” Luke corrects quietly. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

“I’m —” Luke blinks. “You have to give me the ring.”

Calum startles and grins ruefully. “Oh, yeah. Right — give me your hand.” He takes Luke’s left hand in his own, removing the ring from the box and sliding it onto Luke’s ring finger with such caution and care that Luke worries for a moment that he’ll break it.

“God, it’s so pretty, Cal,” he exhales, gazing in awe at the band.

“Yeah, well.” Calum slides his hands around Luke’s neck, threading his fingers into Luke’s hair. Luke lifts his gaze to meet Calum’s eyes. “You know. Pretty ring for a pretty boy, blah blah blah.”

“You sap,” Luke says, heart melting like hot wax inside his chest, blazing with fire or love or both.

Calum smiles and leans in, and Luke, now and forever, meets him halfway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :))))))))))
> 
>  **~hebrew cheat sheet~**  
>  > **ani ohev otcha [...] l'netzach:** i love you [...] forever

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading <3 if you read any of it, or all of it, whatever. this fic is very close to my heart in a lotta ways, and it means the world to me that you took the time to with it. love you love you love you, whoever you are <3 come say hey on tumblr [@clumsyclifford](http://clumsyclifford.tumblr.com/) if you have any judaism-related questions or any kind of questions or if you just wanna chat!! 
> 
> also, i would normally put this in the beginning notes but those got a bit long, so i'm putting it here instead because it's the last day before the new year and i would be remiss not to mention it: thank you thank you thank you to the club for being the highlight of my year and creating such a happy place for me to be, for all being wonderful people and wonderful friends, for making something from nothing and doing it in the kindest, warmest, most positive, supportive way. i love you all!!!!! i really just love you all. so very much. as mr broadside would say, you're so lovely, and i'm so lucky <3 and to everyone ELSE, to anyone who read anything i wrote or anything ANYONE wrote this year, and to all the other people writing or otherwise creating content, thank YOU so much. we really did make something from nothing, over and over again, and we should be proud. i know i am. <3
> 
> okay! that's all for now, and i will see you in the new year! shalom chaverim (goodbye friends) <3


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